Beginning of a New Age:

Dear Jeremy (of the AT&T store),

Thank you for your humor as you listened to me babble away about my lost BoysenBerry this afternoon.

Your gentle tone and the nodding of your head, made me feel less of an idiot for wiping out nearly two years of my life in one sweeping motion...

My new phone (another BoysenBerry) is quite delicious...although I'm still trying to figure out all the cool new apps and gadgets...and it hasn't been ringing--so I've missed calls.

The case you picked out is wonderful too. It is more secure and will hopefully keep this phone less "banged up."

I was able to get my "upgrade" even though I was eight months early--I think Jeremy had something to do with it--SUPERSTAR!

EDIT: I got a phone call from a 62-year-old woman who found my phone on the bathroom floor...*whew* At least I know all those pictures won't be going public (just kidding). Looks like my sister is going to be getting a late Christmas gift.

~~J

Sending Children by Mail?

It was the best analogy I could come up with--really!


500 pages later--I have all the copies of my work for my MFA packets.

(multiply 500 by 8 cents)

I took a photo via the BoysenBerry as I was waiting for everything to print.

It feels strange not knowing the name of the young lady who helped me get everything going at Kinko's. She has no idea how BIG a role she played in my application process--I picked the recycled paper so I'd feel better about myself.

Three packets have already hit the Letter trucks! (Look out Alabama, Virginia, and Florida--special delivery!)...seven more will be out by tomorrow!

(wanna see more receipts?)

And as I dropped the big brown envelopes into the slot my stomach did the same. I said, "I just sent my children out via the mail!"

I got two chuckles from the people in line behind me. It was probably out of pity because I quickly became an idiot during the processing.

But maybe they are just little pieces of my heart (hopes, dreams)...CHILDREN, right? The idea of it all makes me want to hurl.

Brave and Bold am I!

~~J

--She gave me a pen!

(Actually she gave me The Chambers Dictionary)

--is treasured by word-lovers and crossword enthusiasts for its majestic coverage of English and its tradition of sneaking in a sprinkling of light-hearted definitions...it preserves a rich stock of words from our literary heritage as well as covering all the latest developments in contemporary English.

What better gift for one who holds a degree in English? Holy crap, I "hold" a degree now?

(Alcohol is another great gift...or pens...gift cards for coffee or bookstores...money...I got them all though, again--I have the most thoughtful crew)

So I finally had a chance to unwrap my new dictionary--five pounds (weight) of words, words, words (Hamlet nonchalantly and intriguingly aptly replies)!

I marvel at the red cover, the pages, the bookmark. There is the "short history of English"--with paragraphs about: prehistoric old E, middle E, early modern E, later modern E...

I guess we'd be in the Later Modern English era now then...a section about British and U.S. spelling varieties too?

-ogue v. -og
-our v. -or
-ize v. -ise
-re v. -er
-ae, -oe v. -e

No. I haven't even gotten to definitions yet. I have to let these pages (knowledge) soak in slowly--I have time to do some word-soaking now.

Word-soaking.....READING! I just created my own "Later Modern English" kenning!
----------
Kenning: a circumlocution used instead of an ordinary noun in Old Norse and later Icelandic poetry.

Circumlocution: (also called periphrasis, circumduction, circumvolution, periphrase, or ambage) is an ambiguous or roundabout figure of speech. In its most basic form, circumlocution is using many words (such as "a tool used for cutting things such as paper and hair") to describe something simple ("scissors").

example: in Beowulf..."battle sweat" for BLOOD
----------
Whew! What else am I going to do with all of my "nerdy" stuff OTHER than go to graduate school and become a professor? REALLY?

~~J

but I shall continue to use references to classic '80s flicks as blog titles just to see who "gets it" too.

Proof!

(Screen Capture aka MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!)

(because I still can't believe it--but there it is--grades are final...
degree is awarded...and thank goodness the degree has nothing
to do with my inability to "highlight" or "blackout" information
via screen captures...)

~~J

Yup: I Did It!!

THERE WAS:
--"behind the scenes" business of forming a line, underground at the FedEx Forum

--listening to nervous conversations about grades, finals, and wearing the wrong shoes


--seeing classmates, celebratory hugs
--thumbing through programs to see if our names were there
--fixing mortarboards w/ extra bobby pins
--keen recognition of the clock...it's ten o'clock, it's ten o'clock on the dot

Which brought about:

--Pomp and Circumstance
--trying to find loved ones in the throngs of people
--Anthems and speeches
--collectively moving our tassels from left to right
--doctoral hooding(s) & collectively getting upset if it was crooked
--hoping no one tripped across the stage
--listening for mispronunciations (and chiding the pronouncer)
--waving at classmates as they strolled by
or
--hooting as they walked across the stage





Suddenly--









*I was strutting across the stage,
*shaking Dr. Raines' hand,
*getting my empty diploma cover,
*having another photo taken,
*wandering back to my assigned seat...REALIZING it all went by WAY TOO FAST!


Before we knew it, we were singing the Alma Mater, squealing or throwing our caps. We were waving like rock stars or drifting around in a daze.

Congratulatory remarks were flying around our heads. We were a big group of the same energy--in elevators, discarding our gowns. Passing people in small corridors...smiling and relaxed.

I took more photos (but really, I didn't take nearly enough)...there were yummy sandwiches from Fino's...and the world's greatest NAP before checking grades AGAIN (still waiting on one)...

Then a tableful of friends, food, and drink....THEN GIFTAGE!? I have the most thoughtful group who spoil me something rotten (all inclusive list):

a lapdesk? YES!
alcohol? YES! (coffee & vodka! wine!)
pens? YES!
intial mug? YES!
Starbucks cards and B&N cards...
"Word Lover's Dictionary" (be still my beating heart!)
Yummy chocolate!
a pilfered glass goblet (how did that end up in there?)
another book of...WORDS!
$$$

The love and support is enough, surely it is enough! :D

~~J

UPDATE (as it happens): Dean't List!

Chug-a-lug:

(screen capture from website)

Tonight, as I finish writing my absolute LAST paper as an undergraduate my BOC (beverage of choice) shall be:

AriZona Diet Green Tea (with Ginseng and Honey)

I came across this refreshing beverage quite on accident. And my hero (mom) purchased two more canisters/tubes of the mix.

There is a pitcher in the refrigerator & there is glass sitting in front of me...HAPPINESS!

I think it's 64 ounces (in the pitcher)--or half-a-gallon...I wonder how much of it I will consume tonight?

The paper, on the other hand, is in a relatively decent state.

I reread the syllabus only to find that the paper has to be between 10-15 pages, NOT exclusively FIFTEEN pages as I have been assuming for a month now.

(the due date was pushed back or forward to tomorrow, god bless)

I have six pages already, and I've only detailed two songs. I assumed I'd be covering five. I might cut one--we'll see what the night brings.

Too bad I already have "fuzzy eyes" from staring at the computer screen for nearly ten hours. Yes, ten hours. I have eye drops, I've been trying to do some extra blinking (and dancing around in ten minute spurts).

And, of course, writing a scholarly musicology paper has me downloading from iTunes like whoa! Everything is NOT relevant, but is needed (for the dancing)...

and I do have a FINAL tomorrow too? Lordy.

~~J

Looking for Signs:

(omens, symbols, secret messages)

Sometimes (all of the time) you need to be very wary as to the words around you (says the creative writing major). Yes, I said WORDS.

I could include about a million axioms or phrases about the power of words HERE, but I shall try to keep this as "brief" as possible (which means I am going to ramble for a while).

I like to keep things. Usually paper-based things...try not to imagine a hoarder here, but if you must go ahead--being crushed to death by all of my paper-based things would be a poetic way to go.

Don't throw away that receipt or that ticket stub (or that notebook filled with class notes and random snatches of Janet work, not only will it be in the Janet museum one day) because I will surely have a psychotic break if you do!

Years ago (like 5, 6, or 7) I started saving the wrappers from the Dove Promise chocolate my boss would give me.

It was usually dark chocolate (his favorite, not mine)--Because there were little inspirational messages written inside.

This was before the website dedicated to these little messages.

(which I just found and makes my saved wrappers seem a little bit cheap, but that's okay--I know they are authentic)

So this weekend whilst I was cleaning something (instead of doing something for school) I came across a little box with two messages stuffed inside.

It was a week before graduation miracle! (the cleaning? the finding?)

(the real miracle would be finishing my assignments within the next 2 days)

Now the force that made me save these two messages was the little voice inside me that was whispering: GO BACK TO SCHOOL!

It took me a few years (3, 4, or 5) to finally recognize said voice--but I did! And here I am, less than a week away from getting my degree--BA in English (creative writing).

OH YEAH.....
I have had this message taped to my bedroom mirror for several years too. (See, I can be fun!)

I think this is the mantra from the night of December 19th...or maybe it's for the rest of 2009...

celebrations are in order! It's only been a goal...13+ years in the making--WHOOOPIEEEE!

(yeah, I know--get back to work--study, write the paper--blah blah blah)

~~J

Close to the Edge!

Sure, I have another large paper/project to complete.

And there might be half a dozen mini-abnormal psych assignments and two finals to go—BUT there is no more classroom time standing between me and my degree.

AMAZING!

Today was my last class day and I admit—it was a bit difficult to LEAVE the English building.

I took my time, waited around for a friend, bought another bottle of water, read the campus paper, went to the bathroom, watched the head of the department leave...

then it was time.

As I was rushing down the back steps, I accidentally took a picture with my phone.

No, really. It was an accident--

BoysenBerry has side buttons and one is programmed to activate the camera...

I heard a *click*...then I smiled and realized it would be an interesting photo to have...I guess.

It's a bit blurry, but you can probably figure it out. Don't look too hard, because it kinda makes you dizzy (or at least it does me).

The last fiction workshop was filled with a lot of advice from Papa Bausch--I gotta share these with ya...(and I'm sure I'll be coming back to read and reread these pearls myself):

"Robert Frost gave himself twenty years to become a published poet. It took him ten and his first book was a best seller--but he gave himself twenty years..."
(if at first you don't succeed--try, try again!)

"Stories are never complete, they are just abandoned."
(stop revising and submit the thing!)

"You will spend your life proving your talent to people that have no talent."
(rejection letter after rejection letter)

"If you believe in your story--give it every single chance."
(resubmit, resubmit, resubmit)

"It's all about the life on the page..."
(of course it is!)

"Don't worry yourself into silence, keep the pot boiling!"
(keep on writing and writing and writing)

"What you're doing is important, don't let anyone tell you differently."
(amen!)

~~J

p.s. for those of you who REALLY know me--if you caught IT up there: yes he is, and no that's not why it was time to go. my phone just happened to be out, he went out the other way.

Dear Coffeemaker:

Do not fail me now.

(Starbucks Barista model, purchased on sale)

I need your hot, steamy goodness now more than ever.

My philosophy paper is becoming a readable work.

--slowly I say--

With every cup I pour
and every ounce of caffeine you give,

I find strength.

And as I waste time, writing sad odes--
you percolate and spew forth another
delicious pool of magic juice.

Smells so GOOD!

xoxo,

~~J

Twitter Me This--

(or NOT if Twitter is down due to technical difficulties, just refresh and everything will be cleared up in a jiff--stare at this adorable robot in the meantime.)

I haven't written about it before, but YES--I do it.

It's a whole new world of STALK!

I've been doing it for quite some time, actually. I am quickly approaching my 1000th tweet. I don't think I get a prize.

I still don't know how the whole thing works.
What is an #? (I've got @ figured out)
I EVEN get some tweets sent directed to my phone.

(I had to "disable" a few friends who retweet and have tweet-conversations because--no offense--but they were blowing up my BoysenBerry)

There is an amazing amount of musing that can be done in 140 characters or less, or maybe I just have deep friends:

--And how is Zicam any different than snot again?
--Enjoying the best soy latte ever at Orlando International airport, seriously amazing!
--Is stuck between nowhere and "you got a pretty mouth"
--Drunk people are funny
--Anybody know where my keys are?
--drawing arrows in powerpoint is harder than it used to be... thanks microsoft. I should throw apples through your windows.
--has letters that aren't in any words
--Hoarders helps me feel better about how "messy" my apartment is.
--Trying out Folgers black silk coffee and caramel apple creamer. Delightful.
--Where did this headache come from?
--I wish it were socially acceptable yet not douche-y to wear pajama pants in public. Because these make my butt look fabulous.

From the mouths of babes, I tell ya--from the mouths of babes!

~~J

Confused Animals:

Yoga is to be practiced in silence--

I mean, we're silently focusing on our breath and our body. No words are to be escaping our lips....BUT

sometimes, I just want to talk. (I know, big shocker--go ahead and smirk)

Cat/Cow Stretch is one of these times.

Meow Moo. Meow Moo.

*Stretches front (back) torso & neck
*Provides gentle massage to spine & belly organs

Can't you just see a roomful of people Meowing and Mooing together as they Cat/Cow stretch?

The thought makes me smile really big.

Notice no mention of papers...here that comes: STILL IN PROGRESS.

I have never had as much trouble with a "single" 8-page paper that I can remember. Anyone? The "paper fairy" hasn't visited. Maybe she got lost along the way?

Other than that, I'm barreling into my work week. I wasn't even sure WHAT TIME I was to go in until I called and checked. I am so on top of things!

I am one school away from having all of my transcripts..."taken care of"...is there is "Grad School Specialist" who takes care of all of the paperwork FOR YOU?

Just the running around part.
The calling & filing out application after application part.
The calculating GPAs and addressing big envelopes part.
The chart-making, keeping it all straight part.

IS THERE? I think I just created a "new job" for someone.

Speaking of job...*checks clock*...meow moo.

~~J

P.S. GRE scores are apparently out and about (as reported by a couple universities) I am still waiting for my copy in the mail.

EEEEEEK!

Should I be blogging? No. I have a paper gnashing its teeth at me something fierce.

So why am I blogging? Because.

The days are flying by and I am drowning in a great deal of sorrow. I know, I know. Super nerd should be happy to be “moving on” and all that jazz.

I’m such a sentimental student!

*I’d like to sit in the lobby of Patterson just a wee bit longer.
*I want to continue to wave and smile at (former/current) professors.
*There needs to be at least 25 more stops at Edgar Allen Joe’s for water.
*Running into former classmates and chatting should be a daily occurrence.

I know I might very well end up in the same building again come next August. There is always a possibility of that because I have applied to the MFA program at Memphis as well. Nevertheless, it will be different. It will be as a “lettered” woman.

Wowsa!

“Funny” story from last night (deserving of a photo):

I’m attempting to write understand my assignment when my cursor won’t move.

My mouse batteries have DIED!

Panic sets in.

What am I going to do about my Wordscraper games, paper I am writing?

But then I remember the batteries I purchased…BUT WHERE ARE THEY?

I find the batteries, but THEY ARE THE WRONG SIZE!

Then I remember the “extra” mouse has the “different” size batteries…but WHERE IS THE EXTRA MOUSE?

Then I find it.But what about the little USB connector?

WHERE IS IT? Then I find it. Finally we have CURSOR movement!

This was all right after my printer ran out of ink...yeah. Good times. Now back to writing I mean Wordscraper, yes WRITING.

~~J

If you need me--

I'll be here:

<---

<---

Surrounded by highliters & Sharpie pens, stacks of books & binders filled with information.

Vessels of coffee shall be consumed.
The Internet shall be surfed.

There will may be tears.
There will may be screaming.

Caution--this is a frequent four-letter word zone.

I am beginning my "busiest" undergraduate week--because so much is at stake. Construction and completion of two large-ish papers (upper division classes, NOT in my major field of study) is underway.

Get out the orange cones & hard hats.

One paper contains sections with THESE five subheadings:

Me and my daughter… / Where are you going? / Words like violence / It doesn’t mean that much to me / She’s not a girl who misses much

The other comes directly from the book Unbending Gender by Joan Williams (maybe I'll throw in some philosophers for good measure, too).

Light a candle. Whisper some words of encouragement. I need it.

~~J