
boxes
are
happy
when
they
are
full
of
mail.
So
my
box
is
very
very
very
sad.
~~J
You gotta spend some time, Love. You gotta spend some time with me. And I know that you'll find, love I will possess your heart.
I came up with my favorite analogy when it comes to my Graduate school "game" while in the shower.
This wisdom is all after my first "rejection" (got that under my belt--from my "safety net" school even). The one rejection I wasn't counting on. Waiting to hear from the other nine programs may drive me insane (really) now.
Analogy:
It's like breaking up with someone after a year--right when you were about to move in. After you've made all those plans, and decisions. Dishes? Which couch to use in the extra room. Maybe you even have a dog together.
It's that severe, BECAUSE typically one has been eye-ing a program for at least a year before the rejection comes.
You've looked over their classes, professors...the location. Everything.
You imagine yourself there, together. Hand-in-hand. It's love. And then you're stabbed in the back and kicked in the face in one motion.
*insert appropriate sound/face here*
I have nine programs remaining on my list...
1. A 2. A 3. F 4. G 5. G 6. H 7. M 8. W 9. V 10. V
The great romance is waiting...just waiting...still waiting...
There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass. And I long for this mirrored perspective--when we'll be lovers, lovers at last.
~~J
...waiting for the hint of the spark...
It is only February 4, but I am full-speed ahead on my "freaking out, whilst waiting to hear about graduate school" plan. I thought this intense state of panic could be saved until mid-March.
Wrong.
Last night I spent a fair amount of time creeping (lurking) through the numerous MFA blogs out there. I was comparing "school lists" and looking to see if anyone out there has heard from their school yet.
I saw statistics that I'm glad I didn't see until NOW:
4 programs are harder to get into than Harvard Medical (3.21%)...
2 of them are harder than "regular" Harvard (undergrad 6.04%)...
1 is harder than Harvard Business (12%)...
(which leaves another three programs I applied to which are not on the list)
No one ever said I wasn't a brave (crazy) soul.
Then it was time to lurk/creep through an entire list of programs and when the first acceptance letters/emails/phone calls went out over the last three years...
So now I have my very own chart of dates to anticipate and mourn as they go by (list is in alphabetical order, but I only included numerical order to protect my future home just a little bit longer):
1)2.14.06/2.24.07/3.5.07/1.19.08/2.17.08/1.21.09/1.21.09
this year? a poetry applicant heard 8 days ago....
2) 2.7.06/3.13.07/2.27.08/3.14.08/3.12.09/3.20.09
this year? no word
3) 2.27.06/3.5.07/3.6.07/2.24.08/2.29.08/2.17.09/3.10.09
this year? nope
4) 2.3.06/2.20.07/2.24.07/1.26.08/2.6.08/2.14.08/2.3.09/2.10.09
this year? not yet
5) 2.21.07/2.29.08/2.28.09/3.4.09/3.6.09
this year? nada
6) 3.17.06/3.10.07/3.12.07/3.17.08/3.11.09/3.13.09
this year? nothing
7) 3.1.06/2.21.07/2.8.08/2.8.08/1.23.09/1.30.09/3.17.09
this year? nope
8) 3.10.07/2.29.08/2.29.08/2.6.09
this year? nada
9) 3.27.06/3.12.07/3.13.07/3.10.08/3.18.08/3.30.09/4.1.09
this year? nothing
10) 3.2.06/2.26.07/3.2.07/2.15.08/2.16.08/2.19.09/2.19.09
this year? not yet
(these numbers came from HERE--see the links on the right side of the page)
So statistically speaking (again) who would I hear from first? #1 (if they are already in the process of accepting)...#4 seems liking too. See? I'm mad.
At least I know I'm not alone in the hell of waiting, but I shouldn't be left alone with Internet access for too long, because you see what kind of mess I get into....PORN? Ha! I wish it was something typical.
Thank goodness the Winter Olympics are starting soon (distractions, distractions).
~~J