Agreed.

"Pneumonia

STRIKES

like a man-eating SHARK

Led by its

PILOT FISH

the common cold."

(Definitely)
consult your physician!

And I have the antibiotics, steriods (oral and inhaled) to prove it...

Mastering the Neti Pot is not as simple as it seems (I may as well stand in the shower everytime I do it).

Classes start when? Oh brother!

~~J

Bread & Butter & Apocalyptic Wal-Mart!

Searching for big deals, I entered a store in the middle of a "remodel"...

Great decision on my part!

I found beautiful "stuffs" to pack away just in time for the "big move" (in 22 days or so).

Bathroom stuffs

"school supply" stuffs...

.
.

*Never Been Kissed (and Mr. Coulson) rub my nerdy high school heart the right way...in a Jake Ryan sorta way!

*Carrying around a real autopsy report or court case for fiction-writing purposes is creepy, no matter how much I try to pretend otherwise.

*Hot in Cleveland is damn hilarious--and I caught an episode with a surprise appearance by George Newbern!

*Ever since I served as a juror on a murder trial, I am obsessed with "watching" trials. There was another one this week that had my attention and thanks to super blogging, I was able to follow right along...

*Watching a friend laugh so hard he doubles over and nearly forgets to breath is quite a beautiful sight/sound.

*I'm still barking and hacking away despite being thoroughly medicated...

*Tomorrow is my last scheduled Monday in the retail pharmacy world!

~~J

Janet Torrance:

(special blog edition, straight from work while trapped in a frozen pharmacy over the weekend)

"Light, of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya.

You didn't let me finish my sentence.

I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya..."

I go crazy when I hear a cymbal--

And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo

I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo...

(married to the sea)

Yes, when the weather outside is frightful and they are calling for ice upon ice and some snow--the good ol' wintery mix, my brain reverts back to the '90s (as far as music is concerned) and any song I may know the words to, spews forth...

(did you notice my rambly Faulkner-like sentence there?)

It just so happens to be Vanilla killing my brain like a poisonous mushroom today...but I'm trying to get it OUT...

I'm not looking forward to leaving the house and travelling to work--because I know a lot of co-workers won't be able to make it today. One would assume that means less patients (less patience) in the pharmacy, but they always seem to find a way...find a way despite:

"Freezing rain and sleet before noon, then snow, possibly mixed with sleet. The snow could be heavy at times. Some thunder is also possible. High near 31. Blustery, with a east northeast wind between 15 and 20 mph, with gusts as high as 30 mph. Chance of precipitation is 100%. Total daytime ice accumulation of 0.1 to 0.3 of an inch possible. Total daytime snow and sleet accumulation of 3 to 7 inches possible."

I'll take 7.03 inches of this, please.

Here we go, expect massive tweets (and or pictures) from the pharmacy today, good people.

Word to your mother.

~~J

#4 over at 6S:

I've funneled my love for F. Scott into a piece which debuted this morning over at SIX SENTENCES.

In case you've missed any of my fantastical flash fiction (did you see what I did there?) you can click-click (onomatopoeia) via my new listing on the sidebar.

**********

So Teen Girl Squad! You can watch the entire evolution--there are only 15 episodes. It's hard to explain...wait! There is a wiki for it, of course!

But simply put, it a crude comic written by a "boy" centering on four teenage girls doing teenage girl things. It's got a lot of great one-liners and makes me laugh. I also relate to it--even NOW.

Last night I giggled away like a teenage girl on the phone for over an hour. I remember when that thing hung my head for too many hours a day. Now I have the BlackBerry at my fingertips probably moreso than the receiver EVER was against my ear.

**********

The flu (swiney swiney) really effects my life from Friday to Monday. I cannot tell you how many prescriptions I have taken/filled/priced for a variety of drugs including Tamiflu, Augmentin, Cipro, Levaquin...

(side note: yes, there is a shortage of suspension Tamiflu--Roche says it won't be available again until the end of the year--we didn't make this up. The capsules are STILL available, for now.)

I fly around the pharmacy wielding a can of Lysol and spray every "public" surface that I can at least a couple times a day.

Now H1N1 has directly influenced my "school week" as well. One of my professor's has been diagnosed which gives us a "week" off. Don't throw confetti yet, the reading is intense and I adore the class (as well as the professor).

Let the random entry end.

~~J

Cartoon Life:

(alternate title: Look at this cool picture!)

Most of the time I feel as if my life is on camera.

Not all of my life, just my worklife.

I'm not vain (justa little), but the situations I find myself in are so ridiculous sometimes they don't seem real.

If I didn't laugh about it, I'd dissolve into a corner and cry for hours. So I laugh, inappropriately instead.

For example:

Yesterday I was yelled at by a customer on the phone. This 65-year-old woman morphed into a screaming 14-year-old child and I got to hear the whole thing. She even ended the conversation by hanging up on me.

HEEEEliarious!

The nurse from her doctor's office called us about forty-five minutes later and told us the same story. The patient (so ironic, PATIENT!) yelled and threw a tantrum, but this time the nurse actually snickered -- which led to more screaming.

Even better!

We get complaints on a regular basis from those "stuck" in the drive-thru. By stuck, I mean that they sit behind a car in one lane while the other lane is free and clear. I typically respond with, "That's why we have two lanes."

I get blank stares. Then *ding* someone pulls into the second lane and the person in the first lane is fuming, probably planning my death. Ahh well.

Then there are the people who come rushing in with a crumpled piece of paper, that may have been a prescription at one time -- written three months ago and they sigh and roll their eyes as they find out they have to wait thirty minutes.

"I gotta have this now!"
"Oh? It will be thirty minutes."

I'm not cruel. Acne medication is not an emergency -- especially when the directions clearly state to use the product in the morning or at bedtime and it's two o' clock in the afternoon.

These are the same people that come rushing into the pharmacy at closing time the NEXT night because it's a dire emergency and they need to pick up their prescription NOW!

*insert snickering or eye-rolling here*

Then they proceed to complain about the price of the medication, but pay for it anyway -- only to turn around and pull out a coupon card they got from their doctor and hand it to me.

The card has in bold letters, "MUST ACTIVATE BEFORE USE" so I ask if they have activated the card. "No, I didn't know I had to." I point out the bold lettering. They snatch the card back as I complete a refund at the register so they can call and activate the card.

If I told you at this point that after they activate the card, we run it and find out that it expired the previous month, you're not going to believe me. Or that the patient (ha ha!) now wants their prescription back...

See? This stuff only happens on television or in the movies...NO! This is my worklife.

So isn't that a cool picture up there? I got a slick new compact point-and-shoot camera that has some fantastic features. This picture was converted to "illustration." So I could illustrate the point of this entry.

Cartoon life? In general, yes. I need to watch out for falling pianos or anvils.

~~J

Another Day,

(toothpaste for dinner)

another trip to the pharmacy...

Day 1: Look! pills!

Day 2: More pills...

Day 3: guess what?

Day 4: You need pills?

Day 5: Hello. Pills?

Day 6: spill?

Day 7: I think they may be chasing me...REALLY! I am really sick and tired of counting pills, people asking about pills, calling insurance companies about pills, reading love letters about pills, stories about pills, whining about pills...

Hey, I'm off tomorrow!

~~J

Random(ness) from a Chick:

(Married to the Sea) ---------------------------------------------------------
Today is day SIX of working seven days in a row*...and I almost forgot (that I was working so many in a row).

Now, LAST week I was fuming about the whole idea--so apparently Yoga is doing a great job at relieving stress and relaxing me!

I'm not ASKING to work this much again, don't get me wrong--I'm just surprised at my general happiness and continued vigor.

*possible because it is split between two "work weeks."
---------------------------------------------------------
I started watching this version of Jane Eyre last night. Since I have yet to finish the book, maybe I am cheating a bit. BUT my goodness, I was on the verge of tears as the first installment ended (2 hours).

It doesn't takes Hollywood Magic or CGI to make my heart pitter. I'm a simple girl who loves watching tiny moments captured between people. (Which seems to be what I like to write as well).

I will have to wait for Netflix to send me the last installment (2 more hours).
---------------------------------------------------------
MORE from the Mouths of Professors:

• You can be 10 miles away taking a crap or eating some cheese and the next thing you know you’d be blown to smithereens!
• Suddenly at 5:30 Michael’s brain ruptures and he was just looking out the window...
• It’s just Scotty calling from the other world, if only we could all just be beamed up.
• The fly was actually Otto Terminex in another life.
• This is Keith Richard’s girlfriend...
• It’s not fantasy and it’s not the seat of his pants.
• This is astronomy; wonderful things are coming into the sky.
• A space ship landed in my yard from Mars..
• Magic is in all forms!
  

--------------------------------------------------------
So that was three distinct entries in one!

Random enough? Yes!

~~J

Everybody Poops:

Oh yes.

Yes yes yes yes.

I have introduced the best topic ever in the history of blogdom.

Most (both) of you know that I have worked in a pharmacy for...over 14 years now. Wow!

One topic that seems to come up on a daily basis is "bowel movements"--and it really runs the gamut from lack thereof to over-production and everything in between.

You probably think I'm joking.
Look at this face.
I am not joking.

Yes, I know, just like the book says: Everybody Poops! I am a rational adult, but goodness gracious! And if you're judging me for saying it--you're probably one of the people coming in and telling me ALL about it.

"Hello, how may I help you?"
"Yes, it's been 12-hours since my last bowel movement..."
"This is the conversation I have been waiting for!"

BUT (ha ha, no pun intended) --you have no idea how many seemingly civilized people have come up to me over the years needing to talk about their shit.

Everybody wants to talk about it. In graphic detail they want to talk about it.

They want to tell me the last time they “went”…their husband “went”...their mother “went” or their child “went”…

They want to know where the Colon Cleanser is.

They want to know where the Imodium is.

They want to know where the suppositories are.

Color. Size. Heft. I've heard it all. I guess if you know my name, that means you feel comfortable enough to tell me ALL ABOUT IT. Give me a minute and I could probably Dr. Seuss it for you...

So it was green,

Or it was red--

It was bigger than your head?

I thought about it tonight, after another person came in absolutely obsessed with the fact they hadn't "gone" in some length of time.

What were they going to do? Fiber products were taking too long. Milk of Magnesium? Miralax?

I didn't know working in the pharmacy was equivalent to being a Gastoenterologist.

Have some decency--I am a young lady, after all. At least use your inside voice when telling me about the awful smell now wafting from your nether regions.

Give me a moment to run and hide behind the pharmacist.

I'll gladly SHOW you where *random name here* is, but don't tell me about specifics. I really don't wanna know. No, really. I do NOT want to have a 15-minute conversation about it. I promise. I swear. I'm good.

Would you? Could you? Promise please!
Would you? Could you? Promise me?

~~J

O, the Weather Outside is...

Yes! Lookie up there and finish the song lyric correctly by singing: "really really CRAZY!?!?!?!"

I'm not exactly a fan of mathematics (if you follow this blog at all, you already know this fact) but I figured the most recent weather pattern deserved a bit o' math anyway.

The "highest" high was 75 degrees. The "lowest" low was 12 degrees.

*that's a difference of 63 in less than a week*

Does anyone know what happens when it swings hot/cold/cold/cold/ hot/warm/cold? (such a big changed over a short amount of time)

People get *sick*...people go to the doctor (or don't go to the doctor)... People (in their miserable state) go to the Pharmacy... AND being as I work in a PHARMACY...

Imagine it all.

"All of a sudden I'm congested and achy..."
*cough snot cough*
"It feels like my head is going to explode..."
*cut in front of people*
"Where's the green shiny pills I took 5 years ago..."
*sneeze*

"Why is my doctor's office closed, I might die?"

"Leave me alone! I want out of here!"
*that one's ME!*

Ramblings of a Pharmacy Technician (#5)

Your Simple Helpful Tip (to make your Pharmacy Experience as Wonderful as Possible) for Today? DO NOT believe every commercial you see...

So I was having a conversation the other day with the pharmacist. We were discussing the misnomer "non-narcotic" used in a commercial for a popular prescription sleep aid.

I was wondering if maybe I didn't quite understand the word NARCOTIC because this particular commercial made it sound as if its product was not addictive. But I also KNOW this particular medication is classified as a schedule IV controlled substance.

What's going on?

Pronunciation: \när-ˈkä-tik\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English narkotik, from Middle French narcotique, from Medieval Latin narcoticus, from Greek narkōtikos

Date: 14th century

1 a: a drug (as opium or morphine) that in moderate doses dulls the senses, relieves pain, and induces profound sleep but in excessive doses causes stupor, coma, or convulsions b: a drug (as marijuana or LSD) subject to restriction similar to that of addictive narcotics whether physiologically addictive and narcotic or not

So by definition this particular prescription IS A NARCOTIC! And being classified as a controlled substance by the DEA means it has a high potential for abuse.

Then HOW exactly can the drug company even call this product NON-NARCOTIC? It's FALSE ADVERTISING. I've gone to the drug company's website to see if they have this false information written anywhere on their page. Nope. It should definitely NOT be heard in a voice over for their product either!

remember if it sounds too good to be true...talk to your doctor or pharmacist!

~~J

Ramblings of a Pharmacy Technician (#4):

or Simple Helpful Tips to make your Pharmacy
Experience as Wonderful as Possible (part 4 of a series)






5. We Don't Know Exactly Where [insert random item here] Is.

I'd like to think it's because we look really smart or have adorable smiling faces (more than likely though, it's probably because we are trapped in a permanent location)...

BUT in every pharmacy I have ever worked in, we are interrupted on a daily basis by "strangers" asking where completely random un-pharmacy related items are located.

Notice I used the word "strangers," I don't mean regular pharmacy customers. I mean people that we've never seen before--sticking their heads into the pharmacy and shouting out their shopping lists.

Seriously--SHOUTING! There is normally no "excuse me" or "pardon me" involved here either. And I know their collective mothers taught them better than that.

A very short list of examples for your viewing pleasure:
motor oil (get your motor runnin')
light bulbs (aside from the one above my head?)
milk (2% or whole?)
shoe polish (is it prescription shoe polish?)
DVDs (I only play a movie critic in my spare time!)
super glue (because we're busy gluing our fingers together?)

Now don't get me wrong. We like to help people, obviously. But interrupting the pharmacist in mid-sentence while they counsel a patient about their blood pressure medication with LAUNDRY DETERGENT?! is a little on the RUDE side.

Oddly enough, these are the same people who try to bypass the line of people trying to pick up their medication so they can purchase their Hamburger Helper and get home as soon as possible (while talking on their cell phones<---another topic right there).

So before hollering "Frozen Food?" at a random person as you pass the "Frozen Food" sign and ignore the mother with a screaming baby with an ear infection--STOP! THINK! Look around or AT LEAST wait your turn.


~~J

Ramblings of a Pharmacy Technician (#3):

or Simple Helpful Tips to make your Pharmacy Experience as Wonderful as Possible (Part Three of a Series)

4) If YOU can't Read it, Maybe WE can't either.

When I was a little girl, (for a short time at least) I was interested in Archaeology. More specifically I was intrigued with the Ancient world of Egypt.

Ya know, the Pyramids, mummies, temples & tombs, pharaohs & queens and of course, hieroglyphics. Do you know where I might be going with this one yet? No?

Here it is: Never in my life did I dream I'd be able to study and interpret hieroglyphics on a daily basis (without having to excavate tombs and tunnels first).

Now I don't want to pick on doctors too much. Obviously they are very important in our society. They are our healers and perform miracle upon miracle. You can probably tell me at least 2 stories in which a doctor saved your (or a loved one's) life.

Also, we understand doctors and nurse practitioners are extremely busy people. They have large amounts of pressure and situations to deal with...

BUT the handwriting! OH the handwriting! (links to two stories about sloopy handwriting and mistakes)

And they know this...more and more offices are going to electronic prescriptions and prescribing. This makes practically everything clear & precise, not only avoiding errors but shortening YOUR wait time.

Now looking at the particular prescription UP THERE...I know the picture is a bit blurry, but I took it with my cell phone. It's an actual example of the creative handwriting we see daily. Can YOU read it?

What if I told you it was a list of three ingredients to be compounded together PLUS the directions for the patient on how to use the concoction...can you read it now? (oddly enough it seems we have more trouble with dermatologist's handwriting...)

Today's simple tip: Look at your prescription before you LEAVE the doctor's office. Feel free to ASK what they wrote (ask the nurse if you have to). It's always a good thing to have some idea what your prescription is for anyway.

If we CAN read it, we probably don't have to call the doctor's office for clarification. Then you will GET your medication faster.

Plain & Simple or Clear & Precise!

~~J

Rambings of a Pharmacy Technician (#2):

or Simple Helpful Tips to make your Pharmacy Experience as Wonderful as Possible (Part 2 of a Series)

3) THIS IS MEDICINE,

NOT FAST FOOD.

Just because we have a Drive-Thru window, does NOT mean we're throwing out pills every 5 minutes. Your Prescription will not be done sooner if you: honk, cuss, cry, or haggle.

We care about YOU. We care about the person IN FRONT OF YOU. We care about the person BEHIND YOU.

We don't want to compromise their lives to "rush" your medication along. This is normally a "wait your turn" process. That's the only way to make it a fair and orderly.

We want to be as fair as possible. Why? Because we CARE about you.
We want to be as orderly as possible. Why? (see above for answer)

There are so many factors that go into HOW LONG it is going to take to get your prescription.

If we can't read your doctor's handwriting (I'll be sure to show you some examples soon) and we have to call and clarify something, it's going to add time to your prescription.

If someone walks up to the Pharmacy counter and asks where the "Milk" or other un-related pharmacy product is--it is going to add time to your prescription. (again, stay tuned for examples!)

If you don't have your insurance card, guess what?
If there are 15 people in front of you, guess what?
If 4 people call and ask "what time do you close," guess what?

Can we control this from happening? No.

But YOU can help us out...so remember some of this and try not to be one of those people who calls or haggles or interrupts or forgets their insurance card (see Part 1). This affects everyone involved.


~~J

Ramblings of a Pharmacy Technician (Part 1):

or Simple Helpful Tips to make your Pharmacy Experience as Wonderful as Possible

1. ALWAYS BRING YOUR (NEW) INSURANCE CARD TO THE PHARMACY.

I know you haven't changed employers recently. I've had the same job for the last 13 years--but in December I always, always, always get a new insurance card.

More specifically--a PHARMACY card, and there is always, always, always a nice little letter that reads, "Be sure to bring your new card to the Pharmacist".

Telling us you work for FEDEX doesn't help us.
Telling us you haven't changed jobs doesn't help us either.

We actually HAVE to see your card. We literally see hundreds of cards a year and they each have specific information about YOU and YOUR specific plan. If we had access to this information WITHOUT seeing your card, we wouldn't ask for it. Honest.

We're never going to keep you from getting your medication (unless it's harmful to you) but you'll end up paying A LOT MORE if you're one of the lucky ones who HAS insurance, but decides to leave your new pharmacy card at home.

2. KNOW YOUR INSURANCE PLAN. This is probably asking too much because it can all be very tough, I know. Insurance is very confusing and always changing.

Questioning the pharmacy staff about different co-pays or deductibles or such is usually not going to get you anywhere. Why? We're NOT your insurance company.

We can tell you everything you would ever want to know about your medication (how it works, side effects, etc.,) but the co-pay structure, that's insurance.

Calling the dreaded 1-800 number on the back of your card & actually being able to talk to someone is a very daunting process. I know. I know because I have called so many insurance companies in my career, I can't even begin to count (even in groups of five).

But while we're calling YOUR insurance company, We're not filling YOUR prescription or the prescription belonging to the person who dropped off their prescription after you. We are stuck on the phone for 20 minutes only to find out that we need your new insurance card (see #1).

Or (and) because WE ARE NOT YOU, they usually are NOT going to tell us anything special or specific either. They usually want to talk to you, NOT US.

& WE don't even get to talk directly to YOUR insurance company or employer, we are merely talking to the company that PROCESSES CLAIMS for YOUR insurance. I bet you didn't even know that, did you?

In Short: Always bring your (new) Pharmacy card & know the specifics of your Insurance coverage. More helpful tips are forthcoming.

~~J